I’ve crossed the border. I’ve been living in Peace Land, the place where waiting doesn’t bother because I know without ever having to remind myself that God is in control. Now I’ve crossed over into Remind Myself Land, the place where I find myself freaking out and then remember that God has a plan and He’s working it out.
I feel like I’m about to go base jumping or hang gliding. I’ve got my gear on and I’m ready to jump, but I’m blindfolded and I can’t tell if the cliff edge is 2 steps or 500 feet away.
My midwife reminded me that I’m nesting too. I want a place prepared for this baby and I can’t prepare this place or that place yet. I can’t even start packing for that place, because if our visa’s do not get approved in time then we’ll be here for a few extra months. Arghhh.
This morning Somebody reminded me: The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 So here we are planning away, but it is God himself who will cause us to walk in the path He has laid out for us. I drink in the reminder like a thirsty child.
And with the next breath, I praise God. I praise Him for His goodness. I praise Him for His provision. I praise Him that our support has reached 91%. I praise Him that even the darkness is light to Him. I praise Him for Dani, my precious and happy daughter. I praise Him for Jeff, my kind and steady husband. I praise Him for our unborn daughter, who wriggles and tickles and delights me daily. I praise Him for sleep. I praise Him for alertness. I praise Him for the deep breath I just needed.
